Tweeting My Love Life

Twitter bird paper-toy by Nereski.
Photo by Nerea Marta

Been enjoying a rather entertaining week on twitter.  Having fun with this form of Social Media and meeting many new faces in and outside the Van City scene.  A few twitterlious moments for me have been:

  • Getting to know @hummingbird604 better through his tweets
  • Meeting the dastardly @seeper76, who keeps me laughing.
  • Discovering that we have a following in Europe – thanks to @saabir – whom like a chivalrous European knight has been providing me with tunes to start my day off right.
  • An introduction to the musical stylings of @chrisblake
Twitter bird paper-toy by Nereski.
Photo by Nerea Marta

But what I’ve been finding funniest has been the number of tweeters, as of late, that have been taking a vested interest in my love life.  Apparently, I appear to be in of help.  Hell, I am 34 and single, after all.

  • @JuiceBoxRadio is giving me weekly advice on how to meet men in Van City.
  • One unnamed tweeter has told me I’m pretty and that he’d like to meet-up sometime soon. That was his first tweet me and no I haven’t met him.
  • @OnlineBootyCall has told me that it is okay to be single and just enjoy lots and lots of commitment free sex.
  • @DatingCoach is promising to teach me the secrets of dating men – from a man.
  • And as of this morning, @MyTweetheart is promising to broadcast my singledom to the tweetisphere and, of course, find me a Tweetheart.

So what’s a girl to do!?!  Well this girl, was in a bit of a whacky mood this morning and thought @MyTweetheart was far too funny.  So she tweeted, “Sure add me to the site.”  And they actually did.  Check it out – Females Seeking Males. Can just picture my Mom now not being sure whether to laugh or shake her head and say, “Where did I go wrong?”

So the moral of this story?  If you’re not on Twitter now, join me there and you too can delve more into my personal life.  I know – exciting, right? You don’t have to be embarrassed, most people can barely contain their excitement at the prospect of befriending me and delving into my oh so exciting personal life.

Kisses to all you sexy things,

Emme

Blonde Moments: A Soon to be Weekly Column as I learn to deal with the early onset of senility

I have to wonder if I wasn’t meant to be a blond when…….

  • I locked myself out of the house in just my PJs at 1 am (because as my Dad pointed out to me this morning, it is clearly important to lock the door when simply going to grab something from the car)
  • I discovered that the hidden set of keys seems to have been lent to the last house guest.
  • I contemplated stacking various wobbly objects on the deck on top of one another in an attempt the see if the upstairs window was open.
  • One of the wobbly objects splintered and collapsed when I stupidly decide to stand on it (luckily at ground level).

Drunk Locked-Out Girl by Joe Shlabotnik.

Photo by Joe Shlabotnik

Poor Miss Fuzzywiggle Furrypants Roo was beside herself watching the charade through sliding deck door, running back and forth meowing. Found her waiting for me at the door this morning and she doesn’t seem to think it is safe to let me out of her sight, preferably keeping an eye on me from the close proximity of my lap, as obviously my judgment can no longer be trusted.

Thank goodness:

  • I was wearing my warm flannel PJs, rather than the stark, scantily clad come hither ones.
  • The car keys were in my hands.
  • I keep blankets in the car (you see there was a reason for them – it was not because I simply rarely clean out the car).
  • I could remember what my oldest and dearest friends-in-town’s phone number was and theres actually a pay phone in my neighborhood (I slept in the car & waited until 7:30 am to call them, as I didn’t want to interrupt the few hours of sleep that newer parents get)
  • I had actually remembered to give the aforementioned friends the new set of keys.

The lesson to be learned?  Clearly it is more important to teach the cat how to ‘open the door for Mommy’ then how ‘clean the house for Mommy’.  Besides which, being a Goddess (and related to me) she was too bright for the latter lessons anyways and I was failing miserably.

Oh and lesson two – it’s cold outside at night – if you have any old coats or blankets, you are no longer using, donate them to the homeless.

Homeless in Sugamo 2 by jamesfischer.
Photo by James Fischer

Why It’s Dangerous to Mix Wine, Cameras, and Great Clothes!

Word to the wise – this is why it is dangerous to mix wine and a trip down memory lane to the days of dressing up with your gal pals – at least it is when you associate with dangerous camera stalkers like Lola May!!!!  Oh and Jenni – don’t think you are getting away scott free – your wardrobe is partially to blame!

It start off innocently, just with a few profanities …

Fuck Yeah by Lola May.
… not quite sure what happened to my pants?
Sexy Emme by Lola May.
What girl wouldn’t try on a pair of boots like these!?!
ER boots by Lola May.
Only I had no idea, that Lola was lurking with the camera…..
ER dressing by Lola May.
Obviously, too much wine was being consumed…..
laughing Emme by Lola May.
Why else would a grown woman, like Lola, be parading around in a tutu?
Lola by Lola May.
Or Kittyn garb up in full on Princess attire?
girl secrets by Lola May.
Despite now having full on blackmail materials posted all over flickr by Lola May and the scandulous suggestions of orgasms and orgies on twitter by Miss Kittyn for all the world to see (clearly I am the innocent one in the group), I must say I can’t say I have spent a more hilarious evening of shananigans and debauchery in ages.  Well at least not since Tim left town or the olden days when the original Breakfast Included was alive and well. Have a nagging feeling that those weren’t the only photos Lola took though.  Guess I’ll have to stay tuned to her flickr, so that at the very least I know what I should be embarrassed about or guilty of.

Coping with the Election Hangover

In case you weren’t glued to the CBC’s election coverage last night, like I was.  Here is the aftermath.

Sadly the Conservatives (aka Reform in a vintage dress) did get in again, but not with a majority thank goodness. So essentially we spent $300 million during concerns for a recession to reelect a very similar government.  Personally thinking it may have been wiser to spend that money on health care, education and to stop cutting funding to the arts.

Some of the highlights for me:

  • Never thought I’d be impressed by the Block, as I am a very proud Canadian and would be horrified if Quebec separated, but I was impressed by them last night.  They were instrumental in keeping the Conservatives from a majority government and they spoke about many of the issues that are important to me – education, culture and the environment.
  • Loving Newfoundland and Labrador and the Yukon this morning.
  • Also impressed with Quebec and the Western Arctic.
  • Peter Mansbridge asking the political analyst if ‘Harper had failed’ and the political analyst confirming this.
  • Rick Mercer’s closing statement, “I’m just concerned that we’ve missed last call”

To my friends to the South, as Harper seems to mirror the actions of your President, I am counting on you – VOTE OBAMA November 4th!!!

Hope - Obama (Shepard Fairey poster) by Steve Rhodes.
Photo by Steve Rhodes

Before You Kiss Me, What Are Your Politics?

On the eve before the Canadian 2008 Election, I find myself reflecting on where our country is currently at politically, what’s important to me and what I feel is important to the country – which inevitably means that I am reflecting on my personal life.

Canadian Flag with Snowy Mountains by bmann.
Photo by Boris Mann

To me, some of the things of great importance, that make me feel proud to be Canadian, include:

  • The ability to follow my dreams.
  • Honesty
  • Integrity
  • Knowing that I can do whatever I set my mind to.
  • Family
  • Love – both loving and being loved.
  • Education
  • Health Care
  • Humility
  • Compassion
  • Culture
  • Independence
Maple Leaves by phoenixesrose - I VOTED (absentee!)!.

I look at our current government and I fear that they don’t uphold many of the things that are important to me and make me feel proud to say that I am Canadian.

Our current PM, Prime Minister Harper promised us that there would not be another election for four years, yet a year later we’re back at the polls.  Why?  Because he wants a majority government.  Well I am sorry, but his greed for power is not good enough for me as a Canadian.  He broke his word to the Canadian people and has shown his true colours.

Steve Harper: Get your nose out of GW's backside by Grant Neufeld.
Photo by Grant Neufeld

What did Mr Harper do this past year, aside from kissing George Bush’s ass? There was a little Bill by the name of C10 that caused me to wonder how long it would be before we saw him standing in front of a bonfire out front of a library.  What was Bill C10?  Basically a bible belt sanctioned Bill designed to destroy freedom of speech and culture in this country. Funny, this somehow reminds me in many ways of how Sarah Palin pursues her political agendas.  Are Church and State not meant to be separate entities?  Our country is composed of citizens with a variety of spiritual believes, not just those of Christianity.  As a representative of our country, are you not suppose to represent the country as a whole, rather than simply the views of your own Church?  One relief – Harper has decided to drop Bill C10, not surprisingly just as we headed into the election.

My concerns go beyond Bill C10 though. You look at our current Conservative Party and who are they really – the Reform Party wearing a vintage dress. A little bit of makeup advice here – makeup can cover up a blemish on the skin (of our country), but it doesn’t get rid of it.

Mr. Harper, You Don't Speak for Me by ItzaFineDay.
Photo by Tavis Ford

What worries me the most is Harper’s affinity to George Bush and Bush’s politics.  You can so clearly see this in his campaigning.  Slander campaigning.  What the F…!  We are Canadians not Americans. Where’s the integrity? It is incredibly belittling that you would think so little about your countrymen to think that we would fall for such a slanderous campaign.  To be quite frank, it totally disgusts this voter.  And what’s next. Are we going to start mirror the American Education and Health Care Systems?

I have a surprisingly large number of American men trying to court me at the moment and I joke that I’m their backup plan if Obama doesn’t get in in the States.  Well, if Harper gets a majority it’s me that will need the backup plan.  And what happens, if both Harper and McCain get in? Sir Von Ritter – Europe might be looking good. Do you have room for both me and the cat?  Seriously though, what we are worried about is much worse than what the Americans are worried about, as we’re actually worried about Bozzo getting a majority.  Should we not be painfully embarrassed by that alone?

Canadian Hike by nep.
Photo by Travis Smith

So whom am I voting for on election day?  Whomever is most likely to beat the Conservative delegate in my riding.  Which I am happy to say in this riding is a vote for culture.  Don’t forget to vote Tuesday October 14th between 7 am and 7 pm at your local polling station.

So gentlemen, before you kiss me – what are your politics?  Not supposed to ask those questions? Well you know what, I think we should, as it certainly says a fair bit about someones morals and what they hold important to them.  And really as long as you don’t say Conservative (or Republican), it will be a long, deep and ever so sweet kiss.

Kiss from the wind by HAMED MASOUMI.
Photo by Hamed Masoumi