Comments on: Compromised http://emmerogers.com/2010/01/compromised/ The Life & Miss-Adventures of Emme Rogers Mon, 21 May 2012 20:41:46 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Loxy http://emmerogers.com/2010/01/compromised/comment-page-1/#comment-5074 Loxy Mon, 01 Feb 2010 03:03:02 +0000 http://emmerogers.com/?p=2962#comment-5074 I figure each person need to compromise a third of the way there.. and then accept the rest. I figure each person need to compromise a third of the way there.. and then accept the rest.

]]> By: Phillip http://emmerogers.com/2010/01/compromised/comment-page-1/#comment-5055 Phillip Mon, 01 Feb 2010 00:29:38 +0000 http://emmerogers.com/?p=2962#comment-5055 My advice to your friend is to listen to Dr. Drew on Loveline - a call in show about sex, health and relationships. What is likely is that her current situation and expectations of a relationship is based on what she observed growing up. http://www.lovelineshow.com My advice to your friend is to listen to Dr. Drew on Loveline – a call in show about sex, health and relationships. What is likely is that her current situation and expectations of a relationship is based on what she observed growing up.

http://www.lovelineshow.com

]]> By: Rob J http://emmerogers.com/2010/01/compromised/comment-page-1/#comment-5052 Rob J Sun, 31 Jan 2010 23:08:53 +0000 http://emmerogers.com/?p=2962#comment-5052 It's a pretty complex discussion. And I am sorry for your friend, hoping that something good happens to break her out of her cycle. I don't necessarily think that the word 'compromise' is a term akin to selling one's soul. But, I do think that compromise has to be understood and undertaken by both parties while in a loving relationship. All too often, the person who decrees that 'relationships are all about compromise' is the person doing all of the compromising. This is when things get destructive, when power vacuums open up, creating the kind of harmful situations you're describing in your post. In my mind, a key element to this is that loving relationships are not about controlling someone else. There is a vast chasm of difference between allowing space for someone else's priorities while in relationship with them, and making one's relationship into a battle of wills, or in abdicating one's own values in order to maintain that relationship whatever the cost. Thanks for the post, Emme. :-) It’s a pretty complex discussion. And I am sorry for your friend, hoping that something good happens to break her out of her cycle.

I don’t necessarily think that the word ‘compromise’ is a term akin to selling one’s soul. But, I do think that compromise has to be understood and undertaken by both parties while in a loving relationship. All too often, the person who decrees that ‘relationships are all about compromise’ is the person doing all of the compromising. This is when things get destructive, when power vacuums open up, creating the kind of harmful situations you’re describing in your post.

In my mind, a key element to this is that loving relationships are not about controlling someone else. There is a vast chasm of difference between allowing space for someone else’s priorities while in relationship with them, and making one’s relationship into a battle of wills, or in abdicating one’s own values in order to maintain that relationship whatever the cost.

Thanks for the post, Emme. :-)

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