If we ever obtained it, would we want it?  Would it be fun?  Would I be happy?

I look at the women in my world that outwardly portray this, and it seems as though it is a sentence that comes weighty in anxiety. Or is this just my excuse for not striving harder for it?

I do clean them up, fold things and if I’m lucky the folded clothes do make it into my drawers, but life can just get so busy and over whelming. I need a Fairy God Mother. (I was going to say I need a Fairy Darren Doyle, but somehow I think that may get taken the wrong way.)

So are there any Darren Doyles out there that want to build me the above and do as Jill Pollack suggests on her blog? I am completely okay if your name is not Darren.  I just love a man that’s good with his hands!

Kisses,

Emme xoxo

Oh, I have excuses … like the never ending pile of work and deadlines, chatting with my Mom on the phone, not being able to find the outfit that I want to wear (that may be an issue for another day, pertaining to putting my laundry away), wallowing in the tub, the phone always ringing as I try to leave the house, forgetting to eat, forgetting the car is out of gas, needing to check that the stove is off twelve times …  Regardless, it’s getting out of hand and it needs to stop.

Photographer: Toni Verdú Carbó

And it seems the powers that be were telling me just that this morning, as I headed out for a hike … late as usual.  I just wanted to finish that one last thing on the computer and, of course, I’d forgotten to eat, yet again.  So I grab a quick bowl of porridge and raced for the car.  Yes, I know there are many things wrong with that statement, like when was I going to eat said bowl of porridge, not to mention the fact that I decided the safest place for it was directly on my lap.

As I began to drive, I thought, “what a lovely warm bowl of porridge.”  That was until the warmth started traveling down my upper thigh.  I looked down.  I picked up the bowl.  My crotch was covered in warm milk.

Did I mention it was a Singles Hiking Group I was joining?

If you’re wondering if I went or not, I did.  It was a beautiful day, any man that can’t get the humour in a milk covered crotch probably shouldn’t be with me, and lululemon pants dry fast (or at least that’s what I decided).

Thinking time management may be a good topic to tackle in my next session with Jennifer Priest.

Kisses,

Emme xoxo

PS If one of your tunes is not on here, it’s because I was limited to what I could find on Grooveshark, which brings me to my apologies to the Mac crowd – their widgets are flash based – I’ll put in a request for a change to html5.

So I don’t know if its cause its that time of the month, but I had a particularly irritable day today.  Won’t fill you in on all the gruesome details, because that would bore you, but I did think you might enjoy sharing the serenade that the upstairs neighbours decided to give me (these aren’t the actual neighbours, but this is a fairly good rendition of the wails that were emerging from their children’s mouths):

… for over an hour …. whilst I was trying to read and make notes on important documents … AHHHH!!!!

They were actually encouraging their kids to do this.  Wracking my brain to try and ascertain what Fuzzies or I ever did to them to deserve such a cruel and excruciating form of torture. ‘Eye of the Tiger’ and ‘Beat It’ will never be quite the same again. Shot my nerves so badly, that the deck is now covered in what is likely now a rancid morning smoothy.

At any rate, Jennifer reminded me in our session today that writing is my normal release, but as life’s been busy its been a week and a half since I last wrote. With any luck inflicting this pain on you will have helped.

Step #2:  Booze and Chocolate

Kisses,

Emme xoxo

And apparently I’m not the only one:

Week One: The Beginning Shot to the New Year's Resolution

Some of you will remember my New Year’s Resolution to tone this up for my own well being, and will also remember that that DOESN’T mean dieting, but rather healthy living – good food, fresh air and exercise.  The good food part comes easily to me. Unlike concern over increased consumption of processed food on the CBC, I was brought up on home cooking and have taken that into my adult life. Where I’ve been struggling is that although I grew up outdoors, more and more I spend my days working in sedentary conditions at a computer, and whilst I started the year out with a healthy dose of fresh air and exercise, that went downhill with the month long Olympic Party, fueled with a healthy dose of hops and barley.  So as I revisited my Wheel of Life with my personal coach, Jennifer Priest, the other week, I noticed that I am still struggling to find a healthy balance in fun and recreation (which I consider to include exercise) and romance. And I think the two go hand in hand. I need to get OUT and be active way more than I am.

My Wheel of Life: January 2010

Some of you will recall that I’ve been experimenting with online dating for the past year or so, and whilst I was meeting some lovely men, it wasn’t really working for me.  Partially because I am a romantic and this was a rather contrived way to meet people, and partially because I spend my days working online and the last thing I want to do at night is to go back to the computer to create a personal life for myself.  It wasn’t working and I told Jennifer as much in our last session.  She had some great alternative suggestions.

A few ideas of Jennifer‘s to get me OUT and active and meeting people all at the same time are to:

• Go to the Driving Range after work and hit a few balls.
• Find a Hiking Group and join them for weekend hikes.
• Go for a walk on my own or borrow a friend’s dog to take for a walk and actually make eye contact, smile and say ‘hello’ to people when I am out and about (scary concept for the VanCity cats, I know).
• Join a Team Sport, with people I don’t know, like beach volleyball or dragon boating.

Not so outdoorsy, but goes well with the non-processed food, healthy eating part of my New Year’s Resolution, Jennifer also suggested singles cooking classes.  Definitely trying that one out.

Loving these ideas!  Especially as they get me outdoors and active and outside my comfort zone of my true blue friends (whom I love and adore, but am very quickly becoming the crazy spinster aunt to all their children).  Off to try my first one today (after the footie match that just started).  Found a hiking group and am going on my first hike with them.  Wish me luck!

Kisses,

Emme xoxo

A few of you that have been reading for awhile, will know that I have been seeking balance in my life for sometime and have spent the past year working with personal coach, Jennifer Priest, to achieve just that. (because goodness only knows I can’t help myself – I say that facetiously, as the reality is that coaching only works if you are willing to help yourself – sort of like going to the gym).

Jennifer has been wonderful and has brought me a long way from where I was a year ago. I now have a much clearer picture of what I’d like in life, my work world is coming together nicely (and although I still work too much, I am leaving behind my days as a struggle artist), I think about what “I” need and consciously remember that things like good food, exercise and sleep are all things that make me tick and that I need to function effectively. And I take time for me now.

Am I balanced though?  Somethings still feel like they’re missing and although I’m happy, I don’t think I am at the end of this journey.  So Jennifer did a little exercise with me.  She told me to imagine my life as a wheel broken into 8 equal segments.  Each segment represented a different aspect of my life – Physical Environment, Career, Money, Health, Friends & Family, Significant Other / Romance, Personal Growth and Fun & Recreation:

Wheel of Life

I was then supposed to consider each segment and how satisfied I was with it. Well let’s just say that my wheel looked a little wonky. No wonder I was getting where I want to be, as I don’t think it could roll:

My Wheel of Life: January 2010

My personal environment was a mess (my Dad would have been horrified) – unpacked boxes were everywhere from a move two years before, dishes were in the sink, I hadn’t added any personal touches, and my bedroom still looked like that of a university student (aka no ‘real’ bed). My career was taking off, but the money wasn’t there and I was seriously close to burning out. There were plenty of men vying for my attention, but I had absolutely no interest in being in a relationship (there really wasn’t the space for it in my life). And although I wanted fun & recreation and health, the two really went hand in hand, and although I’d have spurts of these, it was in the form of a binge eater, all or nothing.  About the only fully functional segments of the wheel were friends & family and personal growth – so whilst filled with love and challenges, this was not enough to make the wheel roll.

The past five months, I’ve been tackling this beast of a wheel trying to fix it, which is why my writing has been somewhat spotty from time to time. Here’s what I’ve achieved:

• Most of the time now, I don’t stress out over friends spontaneous visits to my doorstep, as the house is generally presentable. And for the first time in my life, at the age of 35, I own my first adult bed.
• My career is moving in a positive and much more manageable direction, mainly due to finally accepting the help of others and working as a part of a team.
• Whilst the nest egg still hasn’t been built, financial matters are being sorted and I don’t need to keep my fingers in so many pies to make ends meet.
• Only just started to augment the regime of fun and entertainment and activities just for me with the onslaught of the sunshine.  Feeling fantastically healthy, as a result.  Very much hoping this is not simply one of my binges.
• As for the romance – still working on that category, but I feel more ready.

My Wheel of Life: June 2010

Thank you Jennifer!

Well, last night it had to all stop, at least for an hour, because it was Earth Hour – a time to shut down all of the electronics for at least an hour.  And I’d written about healthy ways to spend the hour, so should I not follow my own advice.  At 9:10, I began the ritual of turning off all the power (aside from the heat and the refrigerator) and I began to light candles. At 9:31, I shut down the iphone and by 9:35 I was climbing into a steaming hot bubble bath, basked in candle light.  I brought absolutely nothing with me, aside from my digital camera.

Setting the Scene

So what does one do in a tub for an hour once you’ve finished photographing the scene?  (Gentlemen – don’t answer that.)  Well, I just lay there and soaked in the steaming hot water, bathed by the gentle flickering of the candlelight, and sipped on my wine.  At first it seemed like an eternity.  My mind kept racing to, “but I’ve got to get this done, oh and theres that story, and I should have already done that, better remember to put that on Monday’s schedule….” Then I became aware of how quiet the world was around me.  My neighbours must be observing Earth Hour too.  But what is that buzzing?  That buzzing that is almost deafening.  Dear God, is that the buzz of all the electricity that I didn’t turn off – the heat and the refrigerator?  Wow, is it loud and incessant.  Is it always there? And then, at long last, my mind turned off and I finally started to relax. Really relax and unwind.  I could have spent the whole night there, had the bath water not turned cold.  As it was, I was there for an hour and 20-minutes.  An hour and 20-minutes of pure uninterrupted ‘me’ time. No phones, no emails, no tweets.  And how did I feel?  Incredible!  I felt like a whole new person.

mmmmmm......

So aside from understanding just how much electricity I use as one person, which seems to be a rather greedy amount, I was reminded of how unhealthy the race paced, electronically driven world that I (we) live in is.  So I am now going to make an attempt to honour my own Earth Hour once a week – either on my own or with a friend. And I have to say, I am really looking forward to it.