For the man on your list this holiday season….

I don’t know about the men on your list, but the men on my list are hard to buy for and rather particular.  So I was thrilled when Rob and Steven, helped me out with a gift suggestion. In case you are still looking, heres what these gentlemen feel that the men on their lists need this holiday season:

Menilations

The last two weeks I’ve been barraged with the notion that men are far deeper beings then they often let on.

When the chips are down as women, we often seek each others companionship out to vent, drink, cry in each others arms and let loose.  I certainly have those gal pals and when I had a bit of a stumble a few weeks back, it was those gals that were there to help pick me up, dust me off and apply the bandages. I don’t know what I would have done without them.

I, however, am also the girl thats grown up as the tomboy, meaning that I have a certain ease and comfort with men that has meant that some of my best friends are also guys.  The guys were there too.  They hugged me, listened to me, and handed me the hard liquor, but I couldn’t really talk to them about what was going on.  They’d just get mad and seemed somewhat irrationally overprotective of me.  It was nice to know that I was loved, but didn’t go so well with me talking it through and I tend to have a habit of processing aloud.

At any rate, as I have returned to a more zenful state of being thanks to my friends (both male and female), family, Jennifer Priest and the most loving little cat, I’ve had a bit more of a chance to reflect, and have started to recognize why the men in my life were so mad and it went far deeper then just simply their feelings of love and protectiveness towards me, and here I simply chalked it up to them being irrationally overprotective initially.  I also started realizing how deeply they really understood me, seeing far below the surface.

Perhaps the two that this rang deepest with were my Dad and one of my oldest buddies.  Dad’s been trying to tell me to slow down and take a holiday for weeks in a subtle manner and I didn’t  realize just how badly I needed it until I burst into tears when he said it more directly on the phone the other day.  Thinking maybe I should have listened to him a bit sooner.  And then there was my old buddy, who kept telling me I needed to start writing even if I didn’t publish what I wrote.  I didn’t want to as when I’m feeling raw, I am most honest with myself, vulnerable and reflective when I’m writing and I wasn’t sure I could handle that, was scared of what I  might discover and of the emotions that might come with it.

Well, I had to start writing Thursday  in my coaching prep form for @JenniferPriest and I was amazed in the session that followed at the realizations that came out.  Feeling a whole lot stronger now and ready to start cautiously writing again.  Also going to start doing a little more listening to what the men in my life are saying.  They are far more insightful and deeper then I think I gave them credit for.

A Holiday to Remember

I realize that now we are a little past the holidays, but I have been wanting to write about them to introduce you to some of the crazy people I love – my family! Specifically I filmed a video of my crazy family to share with you, but I still need to edit it and that’s not happening tonight, so you’ll have to check back here in the next week or so. I guess I want to share my family with you, so that you understand what makes me tick and that I come by eccentricities naturally. It’s genetic – nobody dropped me on my head – well they did actually, but my concussions are a whole other story unto themselves.

A Shepherdess and Her Golden Sheep

Perhaps the battiest member of my family and the one I am discovering I am more and more alike with each passing day is my Mom. And knowing I am becoming my Mom, I must say I find her whimsical eccentricities absolutely delightful and utterly hysterical. So I can’t say that I was surprised to discover that my Mom was asked by a Minister of a church that she had only ever attended once to be the shepherdess in the Christmas Pagent and if her goldens could play the sheep. How the Minister knew she had two goldens when she had only ever been there once, I can’t really say – other than that people have a knack for telling my Mom their whole life story within 10-minutes of meeting her, so naturally goldens some how ended up in the conversation.

Now I am not a religious person. Spiritual yes. Religious no. Discovered this very early on in life (and heres hoping as I type this that I don’t get struck down by lightning) that I sensed evil in a lot of churches (not all, but a lot). As I got older, I took this feeling to be due to the evil religion has done in the world in order to obtain control, power, and wealth – through wars and a lack of respect for others views and judgement upon them. I think religion is meant well, when it is in its purest form and people are not using it to pass judgements on others or to control. It can create a wonderful community and help to foster positive values. My mom has never been all that religious. Mostly she has agreed with my views, but as with many people there is that desire for a structured community as you get older and I guess there is that question of what lies beyond our current existence. For Mom it is certainly this community that she seeks, but within a Church and Minister that she believes in.

This Minister could not have been more adept in reading exactly what it was my Mom was seeking. You could not make my Mom feel any more at home then by inviting her and her goldens to be a part of the most delightfully eccentric Christmas pagent I have ever seen.

It also succeeded in getting me into a church on Christmas Eve. There was certainly no way I was missing this performance. I have it on tape and will share it with you as soon as I get around to editing it. And I must say I was impressed – the church felt warm and welcoming – people of all ages were in the pagent – from babies to seniors – and they even had birds, lambs and rabbits along with the goldens. Far too funny! One of the goldens tried to climb in my lap as it reached the front of the chapel, baby Jesus was crying, the little lamb was baaing and the birds took off in flight in the middle of it all. But best of all were the people! All different people, from all walks of life and everyone was welcome. The Minister was even homosexual. People were except for who they were and not judged. I was impressed as that it what a church should be about – acceptance and community – not judgement and segregation.

Saving My Soul (twice!)

For a non-religious person, I seem to have a lot of religious stories from this Christmas. Most of them were around attempts to save my soul cause clearly I am headed for Hell.

My sister, Bella, got married last year and I have been trying to be positive about it, but I had grave concerns at the time, including uncontrollable tears of dread as I was standing at the front of a chapel listening to the wedding vows – horrible I know, but I couldn’t control it. Worse yet – nobody got mad at me afterwards – just said that they understood. What my fears stem from is that Bella ended up in the marriage because she wanted to be married and to have a child. The man that Bella married is highly religious, but not with a normal religion, rather a group that preys on young people and has them go to the service at the Silvercity. The husband got Bella (who has always been Athiast) involved in the religion and they told Bella that she didn’t need her anti-depressants (Bella was anorexic in her youth which has caused depression), because when she embraced God he would heal all. So Bella is a shell of her normal self with no backbone and disturbingly thin (but then thats how he likes her).

So I get home and was trying to believe that I had been being overly critical and that the marriage was good. That quickly dissolved due to a few reasons I won’t mention. But the lighter side I will. Bella had decided we were only buying one present for one person in the family and she would decide who was buying for who. The husband got me, so Bella asked if there was a particular book I would like – there was so I told her. What I opened on Christmas morning was a book from their religious (questionably cult) leader on finding and embracing God. Needless to say I was in a little bit of shock. Mom kindly said I did a good job at hiding it, but Dad and my brother, who are still asking if my soul has been saved yet said the horror was written all over my face.

So I followed this up with trying to make polite conversation with my seat mates on my flight home. Better judgement should have told me that when they said they were going to a religious workshop / conference to leave the conversation there, but no what comes out of my mouth, but “oh what kind of religious conference?”. Turns out this was a born again minister and his wife. She then spent the rest of the flight telling me about what it meant to be born again.

Minister’s Wife “So what do you think? Are you ready to be Born Again.”

Me “I can’t follow a religion that condemns my fellow man to Hell, especially those that have lived a virtuous life.”

Minster’s Wife “Well that’s a shame as you will be going to Hell. Let me know when you change your mind and I will be happy to spend the rest of the flight praying with you.”

At some point, to clear the tension, I comment that “People’s believes are a beautiful thing.”

Minister’s Wife “Oh no they aren’t. They (suggesting all other forms of religion) are evil. They are the devils work.”

At this point I actually saw her face contort as though their was some sort of demon in her. This relatively homely-looking woman’s face contorted in this purely evil manner. It was just like the devil from the Nicorette ads. Quite disturbing.

So it seems confirmed and feel that I should warn any of you that decide to make my acquaintance – I’m going to Hell.

Scaredy Squirrel

Now that you know I’m going to Hell, I feel I should end with a story on the lighter side of things. My first love in life and one of my best friends, Scaredy, broke up with his girlfriend of 6 years this fall. Okay – I guess the beginning of this isn’t so light – as the poor fellow is currently wallowing in a state of mourning. I personally want to clock him in the side of the head as his first reaction was to show up on my doorstep when they broke up. I live on the other side of the country. Followed by which as he is crying in his beer, he describes his feeling about me in one breath – that sound rather shockingly like love – and then in the next breathe he is telling me he hasn’t given up on her yet. What is wrong with men!?!

And to further add to that – what is wrong with me!?! As the two men that I seem to have a crush on are clearly both “emotionally unavailable”. New Years Resolution: Give some other men a shot and start dating more!

I digress the funny part of this is Scaredy’s Moms present to him. Two Books.

Book One: Scaredy Squirrel. Page One “Scaredy Squirrel never leaves his nut tree.” Page Two: “He’d rather stay in his safe and familiar tree than venturing out into the unknown. The unknown can be a scary place for a squirrel.”

I finish Book One howling with laughter and receiving several glares, while reaching for Book Two: Scaredy Squirrel Makes a New Friend. Page One “Scaredy Squirrel doesn’t have a friend. He’d rather be alone than risk encountering someone dangerous. A squirrel could get bitten.”

Check them out – they are by Melanie Watt, a Montreal writer. They are a hoot, as is Scaredy’s Mom. A couple of weeks later she emailed me (she and I have always enjoyed chatting) Scaredy and his ex’ Chinese horoscope to see marraige desirability between their signs, she got:

• “don’t even think of it”
• “one of the worst combos…”
• “no good in marriage or business”
  

Too funny! I am sure sooner or later, he’ll find us funny too. In the meantime we can laugh together.

Emme