New Tactics and Strategies in Dating

Post the Germany vs England footie match this morning (Sorry England …  Germany, I’m raising a pint of coffee to you), I was still watching the CBC, and Peter Mansbridge started exploring the growing concern over obesity in society, especially with young people.  Seems a fair bit of the concern is for increased health issues as overweight young people grow older and greater levels of concern in looking after themselves as they become seniors.  I listen to this and I glance down at my round belly, something I never had until this year.

Week One: The Beginning Shot to the New Year's Resolution

Some of you will remember my New Year’s Resolution to tone this up for my own well being, and will also remember that that DOESN’T mean dieting, but rather healthy living – good food, fresh air and exercise.  The good food part comes easily to me. Unlike concern over increased consumption of processed food on the CBC, I was brought up on home cooking and have taken that into my adult life. Where I’ve been struggling is that although I grew up outdoors, more and more I spend my days working in sedentary conditions at a computer, and whilst I started the year out with a healthy dose of fresh air and exercise, that went downhill with the month long Olympic Party, fueled with a healthy dose of hops and barley.  So as I revisited my Wheel of Life with my personal coach, Jennifer Priest, the other week, I noticed that I am still struggling to find a healthy balance in fun and recreation (which I consider to include exercise) and romance. And I think the two go hand in hand. I need to get OUT and be active way more than I am.

My Wheel of Life: January 2010

Some of you will recall that I’ve been experimenting with online dating for the past year or so, and whilst I was meeting some lovely men, it wasn’t really working for me.  Partially because I am a romantic and this was a rather contrived way to meet people, and partially because I spend my days working online and the last thing I want to do at night is to go back to the computer to create a personal life for myself.  It wasn’t working and I told Jennifer as much in our last session.  She had some great alternative suggestions.

A few ideas of Jennifer‘s to get me OUT and active and meeting people all at the same time are to:

  • Go to the Driving Range after work and hit a few balls.
  • Find a Hiking Group and join them for weekend hikes.
  • Go for a walk on my own or borrow a friend’s dog to take for a walk and actually make eye contact, smile and say ‘hello’ to people when I am out and about (scary concept for the VanCity cats, I know).
  • Join a Team Sport, with people I don’t know, like beach volleyball or dragon boating.

Not so outdoorsy, but goes well with the non-processed food, healthy eating part of my New Year’s Resolution, Jennifer also suggested singles cooking classes.  Definitely trying that one out.

Loving these ideas!  Especially as they get me outdoors and active and outside my comfort zone of my true blue friends (whom I love and adore, but am very quickly becoming the crazy spinster aunt to all their children).  Off to try my first one today (after the footie match that just started).  Found a hiking group and am going on my first hike with them.  Wish me luck!

Kisses,

Emme xoxo

Am I Balanced?

I now what you’re thinking – “no” “of course not” “is that even a question” All I can say is – “HOW RUDE!!!” I was trying to be reflective and introspective for once!  hmph!

A few of you that have been reading for awhile, will know that I have been seeking balance in my life for sometime and have spent the past year working with personal coach, Jennifer Priest, to achieve just that. (because goodness only knows I can’t help myself – I say that facetiously, as the reality is that coaching only works if you are willing to help yourself – sort of like going to the gym).

Jennifer has been wonderful and has brought me a long way from where I was a year ago. I now have a much clearer picture of what I’d like in life, my work world is coming together nicely (and although I still work too much, I am leaving behind my days as a struggle artist), I think about what “I” need and consciously remember that things like good food, exercise and sleep are all things that make me tick and that I need to function effectively. And I take time for me now.

Am I balanced though?  Somethings still feel like they’re missing and although I’m happy, I don’t think I am at the end of this journey.  So Jennifer did a little exercise with me.  She told me to imagine my life as a wheel broken into 8 equal segments.  Each segment represented a different aspect of my life – Physical Environment, Career, Money, Health, Friends & Family, Significant Other / Romance, Personal Growth and Fun & Recreation:

Wheel of Life

I was then supposed to consider each segment and how satisfied I was with it. Well let’s just say that my wheel looked a little wonky. No wonder I was getting where I want to be, as I don’t think it could roll:

My Wheel of Life: January 2010

My personal environment was a mess (my Dad would have been horrified) – unpacked boxes were everywhere from a move two years before, dishes were in the sink, I hadn’t added any personal touches, and my bedroom still looked like that of a university student (aka no ‘real’ bed). My career was taking off, but the money wasn’t there and I was seriously close to burning out. There were plenty of men vying for my attention, but I had absolutely no interest in being in a relationship (there really wasn’t the space for it in my life). And although I wanted fun & recreation and health, the two really went hand in hand, and although I’d have spurts of these, it was in the form of a binge eater, all or nothing.  About the only fully functional segments of the wheel were friends & family and personal growth – so whilst filled with love and challenges, this was not enough to make the wheel roll.

The past five months, I’ve been tackling this beast of a wheel trying to fix it, which is why my writing has been somewhat spotty from time to time. Here’s what I’ve achieved:

  • Most of the time now, I don’t stress out over friends spontaneous visits to my doorstep, as the house is generally presentable. And for the first time in my life, at the age of 35, I own my first adult bed.
  • My career is moving in a positive and much more manageable direction, mainly due to finally accepting the help of others and working as a part of a team.
  • Whilst the nest egg still hasn’t been built, financial matters are being sorted and I don’t need to keep my fingers in so many pies to make ends meet.
  • Only just started to augment the regime of fun and entertainment and activities just for me with the onslaught of the sunshine.  Feeling fantastically healthy, as a result.  Very much hoping this is not simply one of my binges.
  • As for the romance – still working on that category, but I feel more ready.

My Wheel of Life: June 2010

Thank you Jennifer!