I am excited to say Northern Voice 2008 officially launches tonight with it’s Opening Party at the Waldorf Hotel’s Polynesian Room!
Hoping to bump into some of you sexy devils there! I am apologizing in advance though as I will not be partaking in the Rubbery Ducky’s Open-Mic Night. If it is poetry and blog contributions I am not sure my anything I could impart to the crowd would be all that fitting.
You see I do write poetry – a rather bizarre discovery I had as I embraced my 30s. The problem is that my poetry is not exactly nice or kind – in fact it is rather mean. Poetry seems to flow from me when I am angry. The sort of poems that would be embarrass my mother (and let me tell you having me as a child that’s no mean feat) and would make her shake her head and say “where did I go wrong” (and I haven’t heard that since my 21st birthday when I accidentally swallowed some anti-freeze while trying to fix my broken down Chevette hatchback in the middle of the Rockies – needless to say a long and rather embarrassing moment in my life that I generally don’t like admitting to).
So to understand how nasty my poetry can be I may as well just share a couple with you. These were written while sitting in a business class and were about the presenter, who I felt was wasting my time and was irritating me. I am embarrassed to say he was a techie. Hopefully wasn’t any of you.
Big Talker, Little Man
Slicked Hair
Crooked Teeth
Tie + Blazer, Nice and Neat
Loud Talker
Name Dropper
Voice filled with Conceit
Insecure
little man
Has to put others down.
“IT Guy”
In, Out
Blah, blah
Buy a computer
Ha,ha
Wireless Internet
CD Rom
Babble, babble on + on
Useless drivel
A waste of time
Know your audience
And not insult their time.
I am sure you understand why I won’t be reading any poetry tonight and hopefully won’t be writing any in the next few days (no pressure speakers). And my other writing – I think would be too hot for the men in the room to handle!
I am hoping that Kittyn will share some of hers with us though! I will certainly enjoy watching the crowd throughout that.
Till later my loves,
Emme
PS Dear readers – be wary of strange gentlemen with mints this evening. I am afraid the firefly may never sleep again as a result of one such mint.
Lola says
Lovely poems (and a fun way to cope with boring presenters that I shall adopt). I can completely visualize the little cretin.
Emme says
Happy to say that this Northern Voice had no such presenters that I personally experienced. Quite enjoyed the sessions I attended. Especially listening to all the fascinating writer’s!