I write about maintaining positive body images, how natural figures and curves are sexy, being comfortable in your own skin, and embracing that inner sexy Goddess. I finally, in my mid-30s, pride myself in being comfortable in my skin, in being able to look at myself in the mirror and smiling at what I see. I don’t have the body of a model, but I don’t want that body. For the most part, I am happy with me just the way I am!
And then I go pant shopping.
That was yesterday for me. And somewhat of a disaster on the whole ‘positive body image campaign’. Yes, at the age 35, I may have had a temper tantrum or two in the store and I may have been on the brink of tears. My companions, sillily suggested mall stores at one point, that quickly spiraled the experience out of control. Why our main fashion outlets, like Esprit, Banana Republic …etc, can’t make clothes for a gal with curves and hips is beyond me. I have a small waist and big hips and can’t for the life of me find flattering pants that fit correctly in such stores. And I know my figure is not abnormal.
My body (Photographer: Lola May)
At the end of the day, I ended up in a store carrying expensive European fashions and I found some pants that made me feel exquisite and are exceptionally flattering to my figure. Will I still need to battle the trauma of the other stores and feeling fat? Yep, and this is likely why I avoid pant shopping until my clothes start looking tatty. But I was lucky, I had someone that wanted to splurge a little on me and buy me the pants that made me feel exquisite. Not everybody is as lucky. Not everybody can afford to shop in the fancy stores, and then I think about the teenagers. The shops in the malls are designed with the teenage shopper in mind. What does it do to the impressionable teen, whose body is changing drastically, when all the clothes in the trendy stores in the mall are designed for women without curves? Should these stores not have something for all shapes and sizes as opposed to hipless women?
At what point is the mainstream fashion industry going to join campaigns, like that of Dove’s, and celebrate real women’s bodies and help women to feel like the sexy devils they are? Fashion should make us feel good about ourselves, not horribly insecure.
Rob J says
I love curves – a lot. And I really thought that Dove campaign was the best thing I’d ever seen when it came to body image and consumer related trends. To me, it was very hopeful. But, I think America’s Top Model and its ilk has undone a lot of the good that that campaign, and others like it, accomplished in the minds of consumers, and retail buyers too by the looks.
There is no ideal shape that can be marketed without excluding millions of people. Maybe as a man, there is less pressure on me than there is for a woman. But for me, what makes a person sexy largely (but not entirely, mind) rests on those factors I can’t quite pin down. It’s hard to market that kind of x-factor in a line of leisurewear. I suppose the secret to managing this is doing what you do, Emme – look at yourself in the mirror, and find beauty there. Chances are someone else is going to see it, too, once you’ve seen it yourself.
Thanks for the post!
Peter ~ @PvT says
“The perfect jeans for real women with real booties”
Reminds me of a hilarious description on that very subject on Oprah a while back (Yes, I’ve watched Oprah), about jeans seem to be made for women that have no hips and that it just ain’t fair to subject women to plumber but. Too bad I can’t find a link to that segment, but here is the product by Cookie Johnson (Wife of Magic Johnson). Good read… http://www.oprah.com/slideshow/oprahshow/20091015-tows-cookie-johnson-jeans
:~) Peter
Emme says
Oh my goodness Peter – I totally hear you on the jeans. Impossible to find a pair that doesn’t a) give you plumbers butt or b) give you a muffin top. Neither of which are particularly attractive or make a gal feel particularly comfortable.
Emme says
Rob – if you ask me, much of the sexiness comes from within and from confidence in who you are and how you look. If you feel good in what your wearing and comfortable, then that goes a long way in helping you to strut your stuff. Muffin tops and plumber’s butt, don’t particularly help in making you feel good.
Rob J says
Emme, I’m not at all suggesting that this isn’t an issue – it certainly is. It bothers me that people are made to feel unattractive because of body type that falls outside of fashion magazine standards. It’s my hope that cultural pressures can be overcome by inner confidence in one’s self as well as outer. And I hope too that more Dove-like campaigns come along to support that.