I have been blessed in life with some incredible male friends. The kind that I can talk to candidly about everything, and that I have, at times to their chagrin. In our twenties this really revolved around me sitting on the couch and acting as Dr. Ruth to them, as they ventured out into the world of understanding the female mind and navigating the boudoir. In our early thirties, it was them trying to vent about their marital issues with me and me doing my best not to clock them up side the head and shake the realization into them that ‘it’s not all about them any longer, they have a family, and despite whatever delusions they had at play in their head, yes, they have always been the family wagon kind of guy.’ Now that we’ve reached our mid to late thirties, the tables have turned, and they’ve been focusing their attention on sorting out my dating life, so they don’t have the wife and the purely platonic, absolutely no sex mistress to feel responsible for (ie. me).
So one of my oldest and dearest male confidants was chatting with me the other day, and knowing that I love to cook and am in my element in the kitchen, was wondering why I had yet to invite the current fellow over for a meal. I blushed and admitted I had been working so much that the house was dangerously approaching something out of Hoarders (and before you’re totally aghast at me, I exaggerate, a wee bit anyhow). It was then that he smacked me in the face (metaphorically) with a violently shocking epiphany.
“If your concerned with him realizing that you can be a bit messy at times (I’ve decided in my head that the term ‘slob’ was not used), then maybe it’s your car that you should be more concerned of. That is the first impression he’ll get of your habitat and men are meticulous about their cars.”
Really? Do men really judge us gals on the condition of our cars? Men do realize that a car for us gals is an extension of our handbags, don’t they?
Was hit by this epiphany with a stream of alarm sirens blaring in my head. Dear God, if this was true, the horror was hitting me of what all the previous suitors had thought of me and what impression I’d already given this guy.
Maybe this was just my buddy …. and my Dad …. and my brother-in-law … and the Limp Burrito (aka Spanish Stallion). My brother, after all is a car slob, constantly treating the floor of my Mom’s and my cars as a dustbin. So what’s the truth gentlemen? Do you judge us gals on the cleanliness of our cars?
Yours inquiringly,
Emme xoxo
PS. Did a wee reconnaissance on the current suitor’s car the other night and was horrified to discover that it was impeccably tidy inside.
James says
Hey Emme,
Interesting question indeed. Do men judge women on the cleanliness of their cars?
I’m sure some men do that. People are apt to judge on all kinds of surface matters. The sheer volume of information people face on a day to day basis almost requires us to do that. He’s someone who knows you though, and hopefully that knowledge reaches beyond the veneer of self we show the public.
So maybe he’ll judge you on those burger wrappers your brother stuffed between the seat and the armrest. Maybe he won’t. The guarantee here is that your man is certainly going to notice the state of your car. It says a lot about habits, pastimes, and attitudes. For you it may well be a handbag on wheels, and that’s a helpful point of view. Sweeping generalization time: Handbags and shoes have some functional value. They also send a message about the woman who wears them. How she is, her context, all that stuff. It’s an extension of who and how that woman is at the time.
For a guy, the car message is exactly the same- it’s an extension of who he is, and how he is. His clean car is a message about how he wants to be seen, and not necessarily an implicit expectation for you to book an appointment with a car detailer. Which brings me to one last observation that goes something like this: It’s possible that he’s cleaning his car to look good for you. Men can be especially meticulous about their cars when there’s a lady to impress.
Christian says
No.
We judge you on the level of craziness that you exhibit.
Hope that helps.
Tod says
I don’t judge anyone by their cars. In fact, I find the goofier the car, the more interesting the person. Find me a cute girl with a jacked-up pinto and a sunroof, I say.
Then again, I own (and love) a Vespa ripoff. That can’t say anything good about me.
Barry says
I haven’t judged anyone by their car, but women usually have messier cars than men. I knew this long before I even dated as I grew up in a service station and was washing cars by the time I was 10 there (long, long time ago – service station probably gave that away) . I know one woman whose car was nearly impossible to get in because she kept like 8 pairs of shoes in the floorboard.
Emme says
Loving all of the feedback guys! Thank you!
Christian – I am guessing you like your women crazy then, as you keep coming back here for more.
Kisses,
Emme xoxo