I was at Purdy’s a while before Valentine’s Day — which, for me, is more like Valentine’s Month — to get “I’m-here-with-you” chocolates to share with the two single gal friends I was meeting up with for dinner. We made a promise that until we each find our own Mr. Right, we will keep sending each other chocolates and flowers for Valentine’s Days. How sweet.
The salesperson at the store was very nice and helpful. She cheerfully wrapped up my presents and never showed a single sign of discrimination-due-to-relationship-status. When I told her I was buying for friends, she took me to a special area of the store to show me “the friendship collection.” Then, with a big smile on her face, she asked me if I wanted to buy an extra piece for a promotion they were doing: buy-2-get-1-at-half-price.
Without giving it any thought, I heard myself say: “Thanks! But I don’t have that many friends.” I saw her smile freeze — or was that in my head? I managed to throw out a “… that like chocolate.” But to her I was already a reclusive introvert with a tiny social life, and there was no going back.” We did use the good laugh at the dinner, though.
You probably now think that I am some nerdy introvert whose ideal shopping day is a nice afternoon at Chapters – and I am. I enjoy deep, long talks with only one or two friends, and I also appreciate time alone. Alone and never lonely.
Except during shopping season.
Wandering through stores has long been known to be one of the best rechargers for many girls (and probably many guys too), which was exactly what I was planning the day after my last final exam. Problems? None at all. Except that all my friends were not yet done with their exams and I was going solo.
What are the ups and downs of shopping by yourself? And not just any shopping, but shopping for clothes and shoes in particular? Here’s what I’ve found so far.
The Ups:
1, Remember that time when your friends used every language (verbal, bodily, facial expression) to tell you that they are exhausted and dying to eat, but you just spot two incredibly cute tops that you simply have to try on? Not a problem if you’re going solo. Try as many things as you want, take as much time as you like, there’s no one to complain but your legs.
2, See that cutie who’s been eyeing you for awhile and is just about to come and say hi? Invite him/her over to sit down for a drink! If you’re going solo, that is. I’ve had some very interesting conversations with strangers (though not necessarily cuties who express an interest, sadly) when I’m on my own. Not so much if you have an army of friends around you and a busy shopping schedule to keep up with.
3, This is supposed to be confidential, but I’m secretly a picky person who always pretends to be the “either-way-is-fine-with-me” one in the group. I feel guilty about having to make people accommodate me. But that movie? Seriously? And I’m not about to wait thirty minutes in the rain no matter how good that restaurant is (or how good your friend heard it was from her boyfriend’s cousin. Bite me.)
Sounding good so far? You might think going solo is the only way to go. Unfortunately, people stick together for a reason. Here are the downs:
1, “You went shopping with who?” “No one, just myself.” “You went shopping BY YOURSELF?”
There it is again. That look that tells me my dearest friends are sincerely concerned about my mental health – “poor girl can’t even find a shopping partner and she’s pretending everything’s all right. Will I tear her heart if I point out the problem?” Okay. Maybe I’m being a little too sensitive here, but you gotta admit: going out on the town by yourself isn’t the most conventional way to spend a holiday.
2, The dining issue.
Let’s face it – in a city like this one, a loner doesn’t stand out walking down the street or in and out of the dressing rooms, but s/he can’t help but stand out in a restaurant. The solution? Fast food and a cell phone. Cramming down a hamburger while pretending to be busy texting is how I do it. It gives me a feeling how busy-looking office ladies might feel during lunch break on days their co-workers call in sick. It explains both the alone and the busy part.
3, The “Why don’t you go ask?” “why don’t you go ask?” “all right, let’s do it together” problem.
Everybody has something that they’d rather a friend could do for them. Take me, for example. I don’t like to call taxis. No particular reason, I just don’t like making phone calls to strangers. Some people have trouble asking directions (thanks to the lovely GPS on my dearest iPhone I can never get lost wherever there is cell phone reception). Others lose things whenever their buds are not around to shout “here, you forgot this again!” Friends save lives, you know. So many reasons to have them around during dangerous forays into shopping districts.
Going solo or go with a group — I guess it’s a tie. But fortunately it is not an either-or decision. Do I enjoy my time with the gals? Definitely. But right now, I gotta go. I have a date with myself.
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