My buddy, Remy Ty, posted this the other day:
… and besides from it giving me a chuckle, it made me wonder why we women put a guise on for men when we first date them? Ladies do you really want to be with someone that you can’t be yourself with?
Comments
Trackbacks
-
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by rott1058™ . rott1058™ said: My Latest Trash, Dating Guise – http://tinyurl.com/qn6a3j (via @EmmeRogers) <~~ Cute! […]
Rob J says
Mating dances are in our genes. We invent versions of ourselves when we first meet someone, and we do it unconsciously. It’s all part of the way we’re wired as a species I think.
Civilization has transformed it a bit. Guys become more courteous and better listeners. Women use tones of voice and eye contact. But, effectively it’s just a mating instinct, like the rest of the animal kingdom. Not very romantic of me to say so, maybe. 🙂
Emme says
Thanks Rob! I understand the mating dance, but some women (and men) take that to a whole different plateau, where they pretend to be a whole different person in order to win the heart of an individual. I ask, do you really want to attract someone to you by pretending to be someone that your not? There is only so long that such a ruse can be kept up.
Rob J says
Some people do it for the sport of it I suppose. A lot of people love the chase, the act. It gives them a thrill to play cat and mouse. Which, if it’s understood and not done in a cruel way, is perfectly fine – for others.
Emme, the very idea of putting on an act on purpose is too exhausting to think about personally. I actually have no idea how I got into any of my relationships. I’ve always stumbled in, never connived. Perhaps it’s a potent mix of laziness and ineptitude that has somehow landed me in various beds over the years.
😉
Emme says
My query Rob, was not to do with the chase and the mating dance, but rather with presenting a false self to a suitor. Deceit in my mind is not a sport, but rather a waste of time and somewhat cruel. I wouldn’t want to feel deceived, but similarly why would I want to be with a man that was attracted to not ‘me’, but a made up version of myself for the sole purpose of deceiving him into liking me? Lives too short to be wasted on time spent with lovers that one can’t be themselves with.
Rob J says
I think that purposefully deceiving someone for your own gain who you know is after something genuine from you is cruel. But, there are those out there who relish in the play-act. And it’s understood by both parties what is actually going on. I suppose technically, it’s not so much deception as it is a sort of role-play – which I imagine can be kinda sexy, if you’re good at it. I’m a doofus, so I wouldn’t know, personally.
The original thought I had I guess, apart from all of this, is that we take on personas and sometimes do so without even thinking about it when dealing with others. The question about ‘the real you’ can often be a tricky one. And sometimes, it leads to disappointment, even if that was not the intention.
Love is not for wimps. 🙂
Emme says
Love your last statement Rob, ‘love is not for wimps’. So true. I think I’ve been more injured playing that game than any other. Wouldn’t change it for the world though. Builds character and has helped make me who I am today.