I’m Thankful I Stopped Pretending …

Leah Nelson reminded me of something that I am incredibly thankful for this Thanksgiving with this video she made for the Vancouver YWCA:

I’m thankful I stopped pretending.

I’m a successful gal that knows how to command the presence of a room when I so choose, but I am painfully embarrassed to admit that I have been in not one, but two abusive relationships.  Neither guy hit me, but they may as well have, as emotional abuse leaves just as many scars and bruises as physical abuse and it too is domestic violence.  Perhaps this is why I’m still single.  All I know is that I am happier on my own than with someone that makes me feel like less.

One of the things that embarrasses me the most about this is that I have an amazing support network of friends and family that love and protect me, but I didn’t tell them, even when they began to ask. HE had me believing that I was the problem, that there was something wrong with me….. Well, theres nothing wrong with me.  I may have my moments and my annoying habits, but we all do and the guy that I eventually end up with will accept me for me, because you know what, I’m pretty darn special and deserve to be treated as such.

So this thanksgiving I am happy to have stopped pretending, to be away from both of those men, and to finally admit that I am a victim of domestic abuse and thats okay.  The scars may still be there, but they won’t stop me from having the loving relationship that I deserve. It’s time to stop beating myself up over having made a mistake or two.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, don’t be embarrassed, tell someone you love and trust, and get out.  If your in Vancouver, the YWCA can help.  Visit them online at ywcavan.org/wwv.  YWCA’s across Canada are also raising awareness for violence prevention this week (October 10 – 15, 2010) with a Week Without Violence.

Love and Light,

Emme xoxo

PS. And guys, this post isn’t just for the women.  I know women can be the abusers too.  And just as there is nothing for me to be embarrassed about, there is nothing for you to be embarrassed about either.