Censoring Dance

Feeling more than a little irritated by the number of people that are equating Miley Cyrus to a stripper, simply because she pole danced at The Teen Choice Awards.  Okay I agree that Miley is a little young for aerobic pole dancing and The Teen Choice Awards are probably not the best spot for her to demo her moves, but pole dancing does NOT make Miley a stripper or a stripper-in-training.  It’s simply a great form of exercise that is fun and empowering.  And really people, have you not got something better to do with your time than criticize a teenager?!?

Pole dancing is great aerobic exercise and does NOT mean your learning to be a stripper.  If your mature enough, aerobic pole dance is a great workout, liberating and empowering.  It makes every woman feel like the sexy devil she should, no matter her age, shape or size.  And I for one think that’s fantastic.

Sometimes I wonder if we shouldn’t be spending less time criticizing others choices, but rather taking a good hard look at ourselves.  And this is definitely one area that thats the case. When I’m in my coaching sessions, Jennifer doesn’t fixate on how I can change and criticize the people around me, but rather on self exploration. If you equate every gal that pole dances with a stripper, then I query your worldly views on women. If you equate all pole dancing with stripping then I question if this is not how you look at women.

I for one do pole dance for exercise and for fun.  Does that make me a stripper?  Absolutely not.  I am an educated woman and I know many other educated women that also enjoy pole dancing.

To be honest, its exhilarating.  It takes part of me back to the monkey bars in the playground and the other part of me it helps to remind me of what beautiful and sexy creatures we women are.  Very empowering!

Am I embarrassed to have taken aerobic pole dancing classes?  Absolutely not.  My parents know.  They think its funny.  I’ve even shown them a few dance moves and my Mom wrote about it in the family Christmas Card. And I can tell you I come from a highly educated family, where manners are paramount, so don’t even suggest its in poor taste.

So in future, before criticizing, might I suggest that you try what your passing judgment on first (unless of course, it’s illegal).

Emme

Holiday Tip #3: Dinner Conversation

We have all spent holiday dinners where we’ve discovered that our family still hasn’t a clue as to what we do, who our lover of over a year is, just what our best friend or business partner’s name is, or are inadvertently criticized.  At one time, I use to let such conversations get me upset, set off a fight, take hugely personally and end up in tears.  Somewhere along the way somethings shifted within me.  Maybe I just realized that it’s not all about me and not meant personally, or maybe it’s just that I’ve grown up and realized that there are real stresses in this world and such moments should not be made into a stress.  So rather than turning such moments into fights or tears this Christmas I am turning them into laughter.

Dinner Table by Zolotkey.
Photo by Zolotkey

One moment earlier this week whilst enjoying a pre-Christmas dinner party at the neighbours, my Dad announced to the table that I no longer play any sports.  Rather than taking this into a totally irrational translation of ‘you’ve become a lazy couch potatoe’, before I knew it out of my mouth came, “No Dad, I still play sports.  I do pole dance after all.”  Needless to say this had the whole table laughing and is unlikely to be forgotten in the neighborhood for years to come.  I’m now ‘their pole dancing daughter from Vancouver’ – that is what Vancouver does to a gal after all.

Here goes nothing by you.

Perhaps the moment that my Mom and I enjoyed the most, however, was Dad asking for the kazillionth time who Lola was.  Lola one of my greatest friends of all time and one of my writing partners!?!  Mom started to respond with “her partner”.  And once again, my mouth opened, “Yeah Dad we thought it was about time to tell you that there’s a reason why I have yet to bring a man home.  Thought it was important for you to know now as wee little m, isn’t your only grandchild.  You have two other granddaughters too, as it took Lola a while to recognize that she was a lesbian.  Don’t worry you’ll get to meet them shortly, they’re all coming for Christmas.”  Sadly Lola, I gave Dad a quiz after all of this and dear old Dad still doesn’t remember your name or that of your daughters.  He is happy that we’ve found each other, however.

laughing Emme by Lola May.

So my suggestion this Christmas is don’t take dinnertime conversations personally, it probably isn’t meant that way, and it’s far more enjoyable to laugh than to fight.