Only I would agree to go on a date with a guy that I’d only ever kissed before to Taboo, an annual Van City Sex Show. Not my suggestion or pick for a date, but have to admit I was very curious as I’d never been. And then theres the side of me who seems to be living the silly sitcom that just thought it was damn funny that a guy I’d only ever kissed had asked me to join him at the sex show. Depending on the guy, I might truth be known have found this to be creepy and have run in the opposite direction as fast I could, but this particular gentleman I feel incredibly safe with and he is in every sense of the word a true gentleman.
I know that some of you are thinking, “well, of course I’d go on a date to the sex show. I write Sexy In Van City and isn’t that what we’re all about?” I certainly had enough tweets asking me if I’d been and what it was like. It had even been suggested that we film it. Well in answer to that, that is not what we are all about. We are about ‘sexy’, not sex, not porn. We are about telling stories that are true to ourselves and many other women, but most are to afraid to tell, are embarrassed about or think only happens to them. Through these stories we hope to remind all women (and men) just what sexy devils they really are. That said I’m not a prude and I certainly do enjoy sex with the right person.
Photo by Quinn Dombrowski
Back to the date ….Enjoyed a lovely dinner. Clever, interesting fellow that loves to tease and try and get a rise out of me, which is generally not too hard. So off to Taboo we go. My first reaction – claustrophobic. Too many people. Couldn’t see anything. Could barely see my date. He had the good sense to lead us further into the room, where the crowd thinned out and we could actually take in everything that was going on.
My impression? It wasn’t even remotely sexy. Total honesty, I found it to be rather trashy. The shows were disappointing – the dancers I saw weren’t very good and had no sex appeal (at least not to me) and the workshop on orgasms was being led by a gal that seemed totally trashed and was reading off of cue cards. Saw lots of skin, but it wasn’t sexy skin. There was nothing titillating about it. It was just there for all the world to see. And the gals sharing it didn’t seem to be sharing to tease, but rather as it was expected of them or to attract all the wrong sort of attention (displaying their insecurities, rather than that of so sexy confidence). More than anything, it seemed to be more about all the merchandise and sales and I’m not sure why anybody would pay $20 for the privileged just to shop (we were given our tickets for free). Most of the items that I saw there could be easily found at several shops on Davie St and there you could browse for them without the crowds. Most of the videos I saw were just plain crude. I stopped to take a pic of one sign I found funny and the gal running the booth started to rub against me and suggest to my date a threesome (she definitely wasn’t my fantasy). The poor gal in the bondage demos had a seriously bruised ass and I question as to whether she’ll be able to sit for a week. Some woman handed me a pamphlet on getting a boob job, which I was more than a little disgusted by. My boobs are just fine the way they are and I don’t find fake boobs to be at all sexy. So was Taboo sexy and worth the $20? In my opinion – absolutely not (Kittyn did go too however, so who knows she may disagree).
I did still have some highlights though, and there were several booths that could have been sexy or titillating in a different context. Also there were some vendors that were dressed in a very sexy fashion.
This gal from Smart Art was fun and had some cool stuff.
My highlights included:
- A warm feeling in my right ear as one of my good friends snuck up behind me and started, in a ballsy way that only he would do, to nibble on my ear.
- A family run business that was making awfully cool massage candles whose wax didn’t burn and made your skin feel lovely.
- My date – he was most enjoyable company.
Emme
Really rather liked this sketch by Carylonn Loepploy.
Tris Hussey says
Seems to me that society has a really hard time finding the right balance between porn-trashy and hot-sexy-erotic.
Sure we all like titillation, gets those feel-good hormones running amuck in our bodies, but man we have brains. Our brains can do much better with a little inspiration.
Well I’m not disappointed that I missed it then.
Anya says
I checked out Taboo a couple of years ago for the first time and I pretty much had the same impression of it. It was mostly about paying money to shop for some pretty intimate stuff in an atmosphere that was less than comfortable. Definitely miles away from ‘sexy’, imo!
Emme says
Glad to know it’s not just me. Sometimes I wonder if I’m too critical or approaching something with the wrong outlook, but I don’t think I was yesterday. The tease (and intellectual one at that) is way sexier then having it all hanging out.
Thanks for your comments Tris and Anya! Fully agree with you both. The most exciting titillation for me is definitely caused by the intellectual tease. And as Anya pointed out if you wan’t to do some intimate shopping with a lover, who really wants to do it in front of thousands of others in a stuffy, smelly, crowded space.
Emme says
I had a feeling that you and I might have a very different take and perspective on that particular event Kittyn. It’s one of the things I like about our friendship, we don’t have to see eye to eye on everything and can be our own women.
Kittyn says
Emme,
I give you kudos for going on a date to the Taboo Show. It is difficult for many long term couples to discuss the “s” word. I think it is good that you went so early on in your relationship.
In regards to the show, I think if you are comfortable with your sexuality and can look past the glaring tackiness, it can be a healthy thing. I think the brain is the largest erogenous zone. If some of the displays, workshops, and on stage presentations prompts healthy communication about sexuality, it can be very healthy and enjoyable.
Personally, I enjoyed it. I tired on corsets at Lace Embrace. I couldn’t decide if I prefered the Edwardian style or regular. I loved the workmanship Melanie puts into everything. During my visit at that booth, it prompted discussion about the history of women wearing corsets during child birth; posture, Gone with the Wind, and how small my waist looked.
I went to the Sin City booth. There I was gently flogged. I discovered flogging felt like getting a massage. I almost fell asleep on the rack. Then again I had a sweater on and it probably would feel different against skin.
Perhaps my favourite part was learning how to walk in heels. Being a shoe addict, I really enjoyed trying on the different types of shoes. Trying to walk in them was a completely different thing!
I think the big thing about these shows is to understand they are about sex not sensuality. The experience is what you chose to make of it. It can be a huge turn off but it can also be titalating and educational.
Kittyn says
Right back at you Emme. That is one of the many reasons I love you.
* I used to feel violated when I went but over the years have changed my perspective.