WOW – one steamy Valentine from my favorite ginger tweeter @gingerbeer! Bumping this one up in the cue, because it’s such a great late night read. All the better to sleep with my dears.
Rumour has it this video was used for inspiration:
Obviously, I must be the old bird reading in the background. Glad to know that my ginger isn’t an ageist. At least not according to this Valentines:
My dearest Emme,
Oh beautiful angel! How I yearn for your velvet touch and how my lips burn for your moist kiss which is sweeter then the nectar which drips from the earth’s most beautiful flower.
Only heaven would outcast an alluring work of Gods perfection like you, for not even divine angels could look upon your delicate face without sacrificing themselves for you. Something about you makes me want to take you in my arms and keep you forever.
What human being would not appreciate those gorgeous green eyes of yours which remind me of tiny sparkling green M&Ms inside your eyeballs. There have been many occasions where I’ve felt like picking them out with a plastic spoon and eating them, but I don’t think you’d like that. Maybe its because you plan to eat them yourself. Who knows.
I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this, but I just can’t just help but admire and love your gorgeous brown hair, which sometimes reminds me of a bird nest (only without the eggs and chicks)
Going out to nightclubs is a great experience with you. I love the way the bouncer always makes you get your ID card out, yet I can always get in without any trouble whatsoever. Oh I love pinching your cheeks and teasing you about that afterwards and calling you “babyface”!
Words alone cannot express how unique my love is for you. I love you, and you only, I swear that to you my love ….well OK, I guess I also love my guitar which brings me a lot of joy and happiness when you are not around. I can even finger my guitar in public without being arrested, but thats besides the point. My point is that I love you and my love for you is unique (isn’t it weird how the word ‘unique’ and ‘eunuch’ sound the same? The word Unix also sounds similar, but ‘Chimpanzee’ doesn’t)
I have to tell you one thing though. I really do love your bum. I think that is the most amazing part of you, and is the most amazing thing on this planet! God, I wish I could do nothing but stare at your beautiful bum all day (besides eating, drinking and sleeping of course). That would be pure heaven for me!
My love, you know what would look hot and vibrant on that beautiful body of yours? Red underwear! Oh God, if I saw you wearing those I would simply explode into a heap of sparks with joy! (By the way that was a figure of speech, cos I wouldn’t ACTUALLY spontaneously combust, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to appreciate your lovely body in Red underwear).
With every beat from my burning, heart which screams your name with every carnal thought of you, I wish you the most happiest Valentines Day ever!
I live only to please your fiery carnal desires,
Rather steamy, highly unique, and questionably creepy in the line about plucking out my eyeballs (which I will note here are not green) with a spoon. Definitely the most unique Valentines I’ve ever been given and as such worth a sneak peek at my flaming panties. Enjoy!