6 Simple Words: “I’m Just Not That Into You” – Use Them!

I love being single. Meeting new people, feeling that bubble of nervousness, lots of romance and I get to experience this over and over again? Yes, please! Don’t get me wrong: I dream of one day meeting someone who I clicked with and everything that comes with the white picket fence. Until that day happens, however, I’m soaking in every minute of my singledom. This all stated, I have a bone to pick with the dating scene, at least dating in Vancouver: what is so wrong about telling someone you just aren’t interested in them romantically? I’m a big girl I can take it and I expect that you’re an adult and can understand the same when I feel that way.

Dating by Sergey Sus.

Photo care of Sergey Sus.

Everything seems to be going great for a few weeks when, all of a sudden, radio silence ensues. Now I’m not so invested after two weeks that I’m devastated by this. My issue comes from the waiting. I don’t want be wondering why someone isn’t calling, agonizing over it and I don’t deserve that when a simple, “I don’t think we’ll suit” would do just dandy. Maybe this puts me in the minority, but when did honesty, in a relationship or when dating, become passé? I have friends who tell me, “Don’t worry! You just need to learn how to play the game.” Well, I don’t want to play any games. I want to be as open with someone as I can, because if this is going to have any shot at being more than a fling, I need to be.

I’ve had trouble with the other side of this too. Last week, I had a first date dinner with someone I had met and corresponded online with for a few weeks. I knew I was not interested in seeing him romantically and so when he texted me later that night to go out again I answered honestly: “I had fun tonight, and I’d like to get together again, but it would need to be as friends, as I don’t feel any chemistry between us.” In answer to this I received a litany of obscenities and reprimands from this man. All of a sudden I was the “cause of all misogyny and misandry in the world” because I had leaned in during dinner signalling that I wanted to sleep with him. Really?! You’re reading my body language for trying to be engaged in the conversation rather than my ACTUAL WORDS!?!  The worst is that I felt guilty for this, for being honest. Could I have said it in a better way? Maybe, but this man had already told me he wanted a full-blown relationship after one date, so maybe there isn’t anyway to say it that he wouldn’t have taken offence to.

A few months ago I had a fantastic experience following a first date where someone actually was completely honest the way I have been. After asking him on a second date, this man replied that a long-time crush had just expressed interest in him and he wanted to pursue that, and he wasn’t the type of man to see two women at once. Wow! This is what I’m after: conversation that makes me feel like the adult I am, rather than a pimply teenager just starting my dating journey. I thanked him for his candour and we have been friends ever since!

Dating by Guian Bolisay.

Photo care of Guian Bolisay.

Oh Vancouver dating… Can we just put aside all the games and agree to treat people as the unique individuals we are?

The Girl Who Tried To Cheer For An American Hockey Team

I have discovered that seeing an NHL hockey game in Los Angeles is a very affordable thing to do.  You can get tickets for $30-40 and they always have availability! I’ve been taking advantage of this with a few other Canadian friends and we have now been able to see all of our favourite Canadian teams as they come out here to play the American hockey team; LA Kings.

You can imagine our surprise when we all met up at the subway station and one of our friends was sporting an LA Kings shirt! She announced to the rest of us that she felt she had been living in LA a long time now, so she thought it was time to start rooting for her home team. You can bet we all let her have it for that!  You see … it’s an unspoken rule that no matter where you live, when it comes to hockey, any Canadian team will always be your home team. On this particular day the Winnipeg Jets were playing.

 

Canada sweater and LA Kings shirt

You otherwise wouldn’t know it, but BOTH of these girls are Canadian!

 

If we own jerseys, hoodies, or any apparel of the visiting team, we wear them to the game.  If not, we wear whatever Canadian gear we have.  It’s amazing how many others from the ‘True North’ you’ll spot at the Staples Center. Our friend, however, didn’t think all of this through! Of course, we made friends with other Canadians around us and pointed out the trader in our presence.  She would hush us and say that she was busy trying to concentrate on training her eyes to follow the other team. If the Kings scored she would clap and cheer, but it lacked any real look of joy.  She really did put in a lot of effort.

Somewhere in the 3rd period, when the Jets scored for the second time, our friend unleashed a fist-pump to the sky accompanied by a loud, deep from the belly cheer that had everyone around turning their heads. The rosy colour of life returned to her cheeks and she proclaimed, “I’m back!”

When we went out for a drink after the game, she explained that while she was watching the game as a Kings fan, she really wasn’t enjoying the game at all, but when she switched back to cheering for the Jets she started to have a great time and love hockey again, even though the Kings won the game. Let this stand as an experiment that was conducted on behalf of all Canadians, so no one else will have to go through it.  You have permission to cheer for other teams, but when you are out of country and ANY Canadian team is playing, even if you’re not normally a regular fan of them, THEY ARE YOUR HOME TEAM! It’s for the love of the game, and your own good.  After all, WE ARE HOCKEY!!!

 

Responsible Citizen

I saved another runaway dog today! Our dog and the other dogs on the street alerted me that something was going on, and low and behold, when I looked out the window I saw a dear old black dog trotting around.  “Do something!” my daughter yelled, looking at me with those ‘even though I’m a teenager I still think of you as someone who has the power to save the world’ eyes.

I went outside and the whole thing had a very happy ending.  As soon as the dog was back with his owner I thought, ‘Why didn’t I take a picture of the dog up on our hill so I could post about it?’ I passed it off thinking it could have been a great story, but now I can’t share it.  Later in the day I realized that by not taking the photo, I was actually being a responsible citizen and that I did not do what I yell at so many people on TV for doing.  When I see videos of accidents, wipe outs and other struggles, it always baffles me that the people filming never put down their cameras to go help.  They’d rather get the footage.  For me, the most important thing was making sure the dog didn’t try to run away again once I had him sitting still.  I was talking to him the whole time, and who knows what would have happened if I stopped to try and take his picture.

I’ve decided to share a photo of my hill and you can imagine someone’s beautiful, well-loved black lab (who was about to be in big trouble by his owner) sitting there while I share the story.

 

hill in nature

Look at Bandit sitting there, isn’t he handsome!

 

When I got outside the dog was trying to climb up through the brush, which would have taken him up into the hills and nature paths, where it would be really hard to find him.  I just called out “Hey buddy!” He turned around and stopped.  I heard a loud voice from somewhere on a street above us shouting out “Bandit?!…Bandit?!”

I yelled back “If you’re looking for your dog, he’s down here!”  The man was elated and replied “You found my dog! He’s totally harmless. I’ll bring my car down right now!”  Since I now knew the dog’s name was Bandit I tried to call him down to me.  He wanted to come down the hill, but he couldn’t figure out how to do it, so he just sat back down.  I just kept talking to him, all the while the dogs in the homes around me were howling and just in a hilarious fit over this action.

The man arrived in his big ‘ol car and cowboy hat, and upon seeing him, the dog miraculously had no problem figuring out how to get down the hill and headed right into the car.  With a grand thank you, they were on their way.  My reward?  Looking up in the window and seeing my daughter’s eyes of pride.  I really don’t get those from my kids much anymore, so I guess I owe Bandit the thanks!

 

Remember

Many of us around the World are waking up to a holiday today, but it is not a day to race about being jubilant, but rather a quiet day of reflection, a day to remember.

I have been visiting with a few American friends as of late, and was admittedly horrified to hear that their Veteran’s Day (our Remembrance Day) has become yet another excuse for a commercial holiday of spending with Veteran’s Day Sales. Really??? Do you really need another day for mass consumption, on a day intended to remember those who have fought and died to keep us free?

Maybe we need a reminder as to why we have today, Remembrance Day, as a day of quiet reflection …

 

 

I know it’s been a long time since the World Wars, and I for one hope to never see another World War, and this my friends is why we Remember. We Remember so that we never relive these nightmarish parts of history again, and We Remember to celebrate those men and women who faced horrors, that I never wish to imagine, for us to remain safe and free.

 

 

So on November 11, on the 11th day of the 11th month, at the 11th hour, take a moment to Remember; and if you see a Veteran (or current soldier) take a moment to extend a hand and thank them.

 

Gotta Look Good While Plummeting to Your Death

You know how your Grandmother use to tell you to wear clean underwear, in case you got hit by a bus.  Well, I took this to heart as I tried to touch up my lipstick while plummeting from a plane last week.

 

 

Only problem is when I landed (alive thank goodness), my teeth were also covered in lipstick (luckily my underwear was still clean though ~ Gran would have been proud)! Thanks to Jill of Urban Mommies for letting me know (about the lipstick on my teeth ~ not the clean underwear ~ that would have just been weird), as oppose to secretly snickering at me all day.

Sloppily done lipstick kisses,

Emme  xoxo

PS. In Full Disclosure: As always, the opinions and thoughts shared here are my own and honest ones. I am bought out by no one. In the spirit of disclosure, it should be noted that on this trip, I was a guest of Ford Canada to test out their new Ford Escape.